PERFECT GIFT!!

It has been a few weeks since my last post... 

This I will assure you, GOD is still perfect! And GOOD! 

A few things I want to share. One... This past Memorial Day marks the 1yr anniversary ( I suppose we can call it that) of me surrendering to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 1 Year since I have practiced the walk and the talk!!! Hallelujah God has been faithful and good through it all. I am still on fire for God.. I am still so passionate about my Lord... and I am still growing and learning and surrendering to his will and glorifying him for all the blessings. 

Today God gave me a gift!!! 

Since I have been going to Cornerstone Church, I have always tithed and always enjoyed all the church had to offer. I had known the difference of attending church and being a member of the church. I didnt feel it necessary at first to "become a member". And to get to know God, that still holds true.. I have been communicating with my God for this entire year and not needed a membership card to talk to my creator!  However, over time I have discovered some great benefits to becoming a member... for instance, free classes that non members would otherwise pay a fee for.. discounted retreats... and the big one.. discount on my sons education at CCS (Cornerstone Christian school). So as you can see becoming a member has its benefits. I also learned that there are tons of great things that come with being member that I DIDNT know about.. like, using their camp/retreat site at Tarpley, use of the church gym!, and I actually get a membership card! lol. which is kinda cool. lol. 

So today I spent the day at the church with my family learning what our church is all about, a bit of history on Pastor and the making of Cornerstone, along with what our church stands for and what parts of the bible does it stand in belief for... if your wondering... ALL OF IT. ALL THE GOSPEL, All the NEW AND OLD TESTAMENT. Amen! I know this is one of the things that most drew me to embrace Pastor and his teachings.. because he preaches right from the book. AT least since I have been there.. I have found nothing contradictory about anything he says. If I feel something didn't sound right, I have my own book to cross reference it.. and its always in accord. 

(side note: If you ever had that feeling that maybe you believed some of the bible but not all of it.. or if maybe the bible isnt exactly truth .. maybe some guys who wrote it just added some fun stuff in there.. I will tell you to test it.. The bible is the only book that was written over a period of some1400-1800 years by 40 different authors, and never once does it contradict itself. ) 

The class was great! The information was great!! The reading of the word was most excellent!! and they had a pretty tasty lunch the gave us as well!! PLUS Free child care!!! If that wasnt enough... 

GOD GAVE ME A GIFT!!!

Towards the end of the class we go over a few last topics and then we prayed before departing, and then the person teaching the class kinda does an alter call.. but this alter call wasn't to be saved, and acknowledge Jesus as our savior ( cause we obviously had already done that).. it was to be baptized.. but not by water.. baptized in the HOLY SPIRIT! 

Ok so I was thinking like many others... ... er?! then he goes to explain ... 

The baptism in the Holy Spirit is an empowering for service that takes place in the life of the Christian (Acts 1:5,8). In it we are immersed in the Spirit's life and power.

ACTS 1;5-8

⁵ For John baptized with^[a] water, but in a few days you will be baptized with^[b] the Holy Spirit.”

⁶ Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?”

⁷ He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”


Matthew 3:11. "I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." John the Baptist, was promising that when the Messiah came He would baptize them with the Holy Spirit. It was a promise of the indwelling of the Spirit of God. This was confirmed by Peter in Acts 11:16.


There are ton more scriptures about being baptized in the Holy Spirit.. you can look those up if you like or ask and I will send them to you... but for me I think the best thing I can say.. is that as I stood in the line of people who had chosen this day to get baptized in the Holy Spirit... I was excited!! I mean I really was nervous, but in a good way, I was shaking.. and i was smiling so big that my cheeks hurt! It was as if any moment I was going to be surprised with the biggest bestest gift I had never even seen or known about really. As I stood there.. 5th in line I believe... eyes closed... I prayed and asked God to give my the gift of the Holy Spirit in me .... and when the oil anointed my head and the prayers of Gods language poured over me.. My God stood to his promise... and I received the Holy Spirit! ... I began to speak in tongues .. my own special language to MY FATHER! 


Tears, tears! of joy and pain and complete surrender.. tears of love oh the LOVE!! I was for those few moments... in communion with GOD. Are you getting what I am saying.... wow! It was amazing.. of course, it was kinda scary at the same time.. and yes! a little embarrassing.. sorta.. cause I thought.. what did I sound like?? are they hearing me.. my husband was right next to me.. what happened to him.. did he talk in tongue too? is he freakin out to hear me?? lol. All these thoughts were mere seconds.. and then just .. just JOY.. great joy inside my spirit and heart. wow. 

Maybe you are thinking now.. that it was probably just something that happened cause I was caught up in the moment or that i was influenced by the leader... sure that might be something valid... BUT.. that doesnt explain me talking in tongues tonight while praying before writing this blog. I tell you I talked in tongues so loud that my pets  were all excited and stimulated around me. My twin daughters that were just laid down to bed .. stopped their giggling and foolin around and by the end of it, they were snoring. I prayed and sang in tongs so loud and full of joy and tears this evening.. that I was nearly parched by the end of it.. I almost couldn't stop! lol. It felt as if I had been needing to talk to God about certain things that in English I Just couldn't get it out.. like I kept myself from saying those things in prayer or feeling those things in worship.. I dunno know how better to explain it.. just to say.. that on my one year "anniversary" of picking up the cross and following Jesus..  

God, My Father, gave me the most PERFECT GIFT EVER!! 

I LOVE YOU  אבא !

Thank You for reading!

May God bless you today and every day!

Faith Without Works Is Dead.

I WILL FOLLOW YOU LORD!

Today while driving my son to school.. ( lots of things seems to manifest while driving my son to school.. my Ezekiel is destine to be great I just know it) .. My son witnessed me waving to a neighbor who was out walking his dogs. He looked at me and asked if that was the police officer that lives across from us.. I said no, that's just a neighbor from the neighborhood. Then puzzled he continues... How do you know all these people?! How do you just walk up to people and like that get to know them? After a chuckle .. I replied.. Son, I don't know, know him.. in fact I couldn't even tell you his name. All I know is he is a child of God.. weather he knows it or not.. and I want to greet him with the light of Jesus.. cause there may be a day, when I do actually speak to him.. and I want him to know and understand.. the Jesus in me. He was still puzzled and said , " Mom I just wanted to know how you got to the point of walking up to him and saying hi".( my lil impatient son) I told him, I haven't.. I don't need to. He simply waves back because its a "friendly gesture".. My purpose is to continue to shine the light for those who walk in the dark. I always want to put my Jesus foot first! He just smiled and nodded. I think he will mediate on this a little today. 

Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

I LOVE LOVE this verse... I always pray to have a heart that is inclined to follow Christ, even when it seems scary or an impossible mission, the reason.. is because the victory is already won! Amen!

Thank you for reading

May God Bless you on your journey and tug on your heart

 to be the light this world desperately needs. 

Transform Me

I had this dream... 

Like most my dreams there is color, and temperature and sound. 

In this dream I was flying out of my body.. 

I flew to Germany.. I flew to visit my ex-husbands family. 

During my flight I flew over a group of butterflies/ possibly moths that were marching back and forth on the sidewalk ( kind of like ants do back and forth to their colony). Theses butterflies had pieces of material attached to their wings... like an extension of their wings but the wing was material.. like fabrics.. all sorts of sheers and silks and soft flowy fabric. The fabric was floating straight up as the wings would.. I wondered how that was happening but didnt pay much mind, I did however ask" what are they doing" ( who did I ask? I dunno) But I got an answer.. not in a voice.. just in a knowledge.. that they were mating. I said to myself.. oh. and then proceeded to fly on. I flew into the house of my past marriage, it was modern day and time. As I sat and watched the current family there, (ex's new wife and small children) I noticed that My ex could see me. Although he was forbidden to acknowledge me. I asked out loud, "you can see me cant you?" and he nodded yes. The family continued to function regularly over the course of the meal.. Next came in my ex mother in law. She was accompanied by a friend who brought with her a dress.. a most beautiful dress.. it was made with this beautiful burgundy material that I actually own. I remember looking at it in the dream trying to figure out how it was made so I could recreate it. ( at this point I think I was realizing its a dream about a dress i need to make).  I had to leave cause morning was coming here back in Tx.. So I said good bye to my ex.. reminded him to smile, saying " God has made every day special, try to enjoy it.. smile a little more"... and I left. As I was coming back to my home.. I flew back over the area where the butterflies were.. only now there lay bundles of butterflies and fabric. I asked again " what happened, what are they doing'. The understanding came again not in a voice really just in a knowledge.. " They have died. This is the natural life span.. they emerge.. they fly around doing what they know, then they reproduce and die. They accomplish their purpose." ... I said.. " ok". Then the knowledge said " you may take the fabric now and use it " . So I did. I began to float back home....

When my daughter woke me ... " MOM!" .. I was startled cause I had slept past my wake up time. I asked her if it was time for the bus already.. and she told me no... then I said Im sorry for not waking up earlier.. Then I asked what is it that she wanted.. She said ...

"Mom there is a butterfly in our house!!"

Indeed there was a butterfly flying above my sewing area. 

Transformation..... God I pray your will be done, and you transform me to be less of me and more of you. Thank you for this dream.. thank you for this experience. I pray to learn more of what your plans are for me, and pray for the wisdom and patience to follow them. Amen. 

Thank you for sharing with me on my transformation.

 May God bless you and enlighten you daily on yours.

AGAPE!

do BE do BE do BE

A quick note about what it is to just BE... and not so much do! 

So like most of my blogs this one comes from an email conversation I had with a friend. Whats important here is the context of what was written. I often find that my knowledge and ability to put my faith and My Jesus into words comes when I am speaking to others about them. Below is excerpts from that email...

 God is good all the time... so just have faith and seek him with your whole heart.... then you will find him. Take 15 min out of your day every day to just sit in the silence and meditate on his love, on his majesty.. he is the creator of all things.. he is woven into all things.. if you take just 15 min sit in your car in the lot.. and close your eyes.. and just be in his presence... I guarantee things in your life will become more clear... and Gods plan for you and your family will start to reveal itself.. ...I challenge you to do this. :)

I tried the 15 minutes thing and it works, it was one of the things I learned in our bible group.  But there is one really important question he (God) doesn't seem to answer.  It is almost as if he is either letting me decide on my own or He is telling both options I have are just as good as it is bad... I don't know, I don't really get a real picture. So, as I am finshing this email, I am going to talk to my chaplin.  He and I started talking the other day and he said that perhaps I am not liking what God is telling me and I am refusing to hear it.  So I am going down in the next few minutes to see if he if there is anything I can do to hear what I may not want to.  Funny hu?

Well.. this is what I've learned about "Gods answers"... sometimes we aren't really listening to them, because we just want it broken down to plain YES or NO.  

Sometimes.. its more complicated then that.. 

God answers always this is the truth..... just not in the way we want.. remember HIS ways are not our ways.. but they are always the BEST ways. Amen!

In order to hear God, you have to be in his presence... its like being in another level of consciousness. Then we must stand on his promises to us.. in order to do this... you have to know what they are. When we live in his word.. his promises.... can now take shape and manifest in our hearts and minds.. allowing us to experience that special relationship with GOD. Where in that relationship He does speak very bluntly and obvious to us.

It takes time.. and it takes ... being still and knowing he is God. 

In life I am know I am often too focused on the doing doing doing of life.. doing the right thing for my business, doing this to help that, doing it all so it is done.. doing doing... We need to take time to just BE.. be in this state of mind where we are connecting to everything and everything is connecting to us.. then we realize that , that is a connection with God. Its just BEing still and knowing he is there.. then like that our eternal being is awaken and it then can guide our primal being. Its really amazing! Yet so hard to find the time to do.. er be.. :)

Lastly ... sometimes I have to remind myself that there are going to be times when His answer is just flat out NO.  And I know when he is saying no.. because nothing will fall into place when i take steps in that direction of which he is saying NO to. In my stubbornness I say.. "God hasn't answered me yet, so I'm going forward" .. then nothing works out right.. and I realize ok.. ok.. Im turnin round. The moment I do that.. all things start to fall into a better place then before.

I know when I am on Gods path for me, because of two things..

1: Great blessings  and 2: Great trials.  It sounds nuts.. but its totally true. 

Finally... realize.. that if you keep your eyes, mind and heart focused on having a relationship with him.. this means; putting him before your needs,desires, and other  family members.... he will bless you with an answer and then some! Then all those other things.. family, money, desires.. etc. will fall into place and be better then you ever thought it could be. 

God is a master in making a way where there seems to be no way. 

We just have to learn to reprogram our way of thinking... and be a little patient. 

Try to just BE.... and leave the "Doing" to Him.

 This is called FAITH. 

Thank you for sharing in my journey. May God always bless you along yours. 

PS: Great documentary I saw on Quantum Physics. Seems like science is getting in line with what has always been. Great things happening here... its all about reprogramming. Take time to watch it.. very interesting indisputable stuff here! I call it GOD.. I call it Jesus! Eventually science will proclaim the same in a more pronounced way... yep.. it'll catch on. 

click ---> Quantum Activist

Forgiveness is for us

Matthew 18:21-22

   21Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

My Mother... 

Many trials in her life have left her scared with strife

Many hurts and many pains has left her with very little in gains

Because of unwise choices, deceitful delight, 

many tears fell silently... painfully...  in the night

And in time both hearts died, first her's.... then mine

But God is good all the time!

Now a relationship once convinced of the darkness

has sparked and rekindled its sweetness!

A child who once cried out in affliction

Now see's the woman and not the addiction!

A woman who once walked in the night 

Now sweetly sings in the light... 

That women, My Mother... 

Sent me a Birthday card Today!!

Todays Blog I dedicate to my Mother who is the chosen parent of my life. God is good all the time, and He knew me then as he knows me now... He knew who I needed in my life and he placed them there. Praise God. 

My Mother, wasn't always there for me in the traditional sense.... but that's ok. She showed me the things in life I needed to know and see in order to get me to be me.(if that makes sense) God always held me, even when I was not seeking him. For a long time I had pain and anger for choices my parents made, I was sad and often felt alone. I was able to pull myself through those times and realize that I didnt have to hold on to that pain... I didnt have to hold on to the darkness. I learned to forgive. I forgave my parents for their life choices and more than that I have been able to show empathy for both. I know God see's their pain, and I know he is with them as he has always been with me. I forgave my Mother many years ago, but it has only been recently in the past year.. with Gods mercy and grace.. that she and I have been able to really share words of love. I love her today more than yesterday.. and I am working on a relationship with her. To God be the glory.  

In the bible it says to forgive 490 times.. what Jesus is saying is .. there is no limit to how much we should forgive. When we forgive... we really do it for us. We are not saying (by forgiving) that what a person has done or done to you was/is right or ok. .. we are simply saying " I dont have to allow it to hurt me". 

When we chose to withhold forgiveness from one another, we not only are saying I want to hold this person in a perpetual state of guilt and shame... but also that we want to prolong our own suffering. We are making the choice to victimize ourselves. By holding onto the grudge of pain we are encasing it and essentially a part of us prisoner. To forgive is to release the pain, the suffering, the ugliness.. and suffer never more from it. 

when we forgive others we free ourselves from all the suffering... all the pain.. all the anger.. alll the bitterness and resentment, its those very things that keep us from enjoying the blessings of peace we have before us today. Forgiveness is for us.

I think about how God forgives.. and how my sins have been forgiven... I think about how I have made mistakes with my children, and thought... I hope they forgive me. 

Love lives in forgiveness. 

My relationship and love with my mother lives in our forgiveness... and today for the FIRST time in many of my adult years... she sent me a birthday card!  This is a big deal, and really special. It filled my heart with joy and my eyes with tears. I'm so thankful and so grateful to know forgiveness and now her Love. 

Forgiving shouldn't be associated with "bowing out" , rather it should be correlated with being of strength and of love.

Thank you so much for sharing my journey. 

May God bless you

I watched a great great film on the power of forgiveness. Lots of great messages here and even scientific proof that anger and not forgiving can harm us internally. I found the film on netflix, but its also for 3bucks rental on youtube. check it out.. and walk away feeling ready to forgive it all. 

The Power of Forgiveness