Friday, December 2, 2011


Tonight I attended a Christian concert for Casting Crowns  ! 

I cant even begin to tell you how awesome it feels to be in a place filled with thousands of people young and old, just jammin out for the Glory of God. 

Casting Crowns is such a humble group of people. Their talents are beyond great! Lord is working in their lives, and they show how much passion they have for him in such a refreshing humbling way. I loved it. 

Sanctus Real was one of the opening acts that we got to see as well, The lead singer really relates. Such beautiful lyrics and emotion, heart tugging and opening. Loved it!

Thank you for sharing your gifts!

However, this blog isn't about all the good feeling stuff that I/people often feel when we go to church on Sunday or sing a few Christian songs off the radio...

This blog is about ME admitting that I am a TRAIN WRECK! 

There were two songs that really touched me below I will explain why. 

So, the Lead singer of Casting Crowns Mark Hall, is also a youth pastor at his church, and in Christian concerts the people of the band will often give testimony about things that happened in their lives and times they communicated love to and with God. In one of his prayers he said " Lord, we are your children... and we are given salvation through your mercy only .. Not because we attend church every Sunday, or sing christian songs. (not to be confused with why we need to attend church) We are not better than anyone else , most of us are all messed up ... just Train Wrecks". As my head was bowed and my eyes were closed, I shouted AMEN! I think I might have been the only one... Mostly you get an Amen when something good was just said.. but I Amen'd! the fact that I am a TRAIN WRECK! as the prayer ended he went into a song...." Jesus friend of sinners". Wow! I was in such tears ... 
These were tears of conviction. 

Now to better explain why this touched me so much.... I have to be honest with you, 
and thats what this blog is all about right. 
I admit to having judged my family and their understanding of God and what he expects. I dont mean to ... I dont want to... but I have at times, I have pointed my finger and said shame on you. Worse than that, I have felt upset because they were "doing it wrong". 
( this is not to say that I haven't praised them or felt honored and encouraged by their growth )  
See, right before my husband returned from his 6month long tour, I spent the last month and half away from the world. I spent every waking moment in consecration. I prayed on my knees and on my face, I read daily, I sung out loud, I talked with God. I found my path and I was on it but good! It was the most happiest time in my entire existence.!! ( which I came to the conclusion, its easy to be a christian, when you dont have to live with anyone. LOL ) So naturally I wanted to share the moment with my husband and children. I raved on and on how beautiful the feeling was and how clear life had become. I had a Father who loved me for who I was, and through my faith he healed many of my pains... emotional and physical. 
It was the best place that anyone could ever hope to be! 
Its salvation! Grace! Mercy! 

There is two parts to why I have found myself upset about things.. first lets talk about the family...

Of course my family didnt "dislike" my changes, but they didnt know what to make of it, and didnt believe that they really really could feel the same awakening. I was patient at first... then when I saw that my life was being lead in a different direction at a different time than theirs.. well.. 
That is when it turned hard for me.. that is when I noticed I was "trying" to get them to see something I alone could never get them to see. ( Read :SPEAK NO EVIL HEAR NO GOSPEL to get a better understanding)  Naturally when you love someone you want to see them not hurt.. so you try to show them again and again where the WELL is. (the well being the spring of life = Jesus) Like the saying goes... " you can bring em to the well but you cant make em drink". Before long.. attempts to let His light shine through me, became in vain. There was so much I wanted them to experience, that I became desperate for them to "get it". With desperation comes anxiety, frustration, expectation, and confusion! ( Confusion is a clever work of the enemy by the way)
Finally I just said God, its in your hands. He then said " as it should always be". See, its not my responsibility to see that they "get it"; In other words, I'm not responsible for their personal salvation. What God wanted and wants me to do is focus on MY relationship with Him, focus on dedicating my life and love to him, and through me.. without me driving the path... HE will reach them, and bring them to feel his mercy and grace. He has the power to save .. not me. Now you think that would be obvious... and it is. BUT when you love your family soo much its hard not to intervene. I wanted so much to help them understand and I wanted so much to be fully yolked in my home... that I was putting soo much pressure at times, which made them oppose all my teachings. Plenty of the credit goes to the enemy, but I have to take credit for it too. Again, it was not my job. As a Wife and a Mother I am to Pray. Pray for them .. pray over them.. and He will do the rest. So I finally cut all that mumbo jumbo out.. and realized, YES! I do wish that we were all so crazy in love with God like Radical Mom! I do wish that we all knew how and what to say and do for one another in each others time of need. I do wish that I was not the only one saying prayers at dinner, or praying alone at night. I do wish we were all so much better than we are now in our walks with the Living God. More importantly I wished that we all would completely lean on Jesus to assist us through life and through struggles and learn from His words. This would put less pressure all around... cause my family needs.. they have a thirst.. that I can not quench. 
HOWEVER! I know God has heard my cry of loneliness in the home and he has promised to deliver...
 I have to remind myself that ...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD
~Isaiah 55:8

The second thing I have realized: I hurt for Jesus. When I see someone who knows the word, knows Jesus knows what is in store for them if they would humble themselves to God He will guide then and quench them beyond what our simple minds can perceive. ... and yet... they are defiant or in disbelief... wow that hurts. I relate a smidgen because I am a mother of 4 and often feel like though I continue to love and provide for my family all that they need.. I still go unnoticed, un appreciated and when their needs aren't met by the world . .. I get the blunt end of the stick. The love they have for me is often only shown after they get something or are asking for something. So naturally when I see a member of my family going against the Lords best wishes, I feel the pain.. I feel like saying " how ungrateful are you". I dont, Cause I know its not my place.. but I remind them to be thankful for all they DO have, and to understand that the Lord is waiting to bless them with even more if they would just turn to him and trust. sigh.. but it hurts.. it hurts when I see Jesus denied. Then it hurts to know that I too have been in defiance to my Lord. When I worry! In a sense I am saying I do not trust God enough to revive the situation. Oh boy then it turns into a whole ball of pain and guilt.. and I just wanna trow myself into a closet and Whip my flesh!! LOL.. seriously! So here is what the bible says about worry.. and about hurt...

Matthew 6:25-34

New International Version (NIV)

Do Not Worry JESUS said...
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[a]?

James1 :19 ~

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

Matthew 5:4  ~ 
Blessed are those who Mourn for they will be comforted

The next song made me realize....
It has been easier for me to love and accept non believers who are strangers or friends then it was my family members. I would always feel a great need to "be there" for that stranger or friend. So why wasnt it the same for my family?? Why didnt I feel heartbreak for my family when they were confused with life, or afraid, or angry.... and lost. Why am I such a jerk at times. How does one love another so much to then make them feel like they aren't "doing it right"?

Answer: Because I too have been going to my family for water! 
This brings me to the second song that had me in tears..

(Side note, I have heard this song a hundred times.. but it wasn't until I heard it with open ears and heart did I really HEAR the message)

Just a quick background, my Mother and a Father are strangers to me.Neither have been in my life for over 20 years. I dont know them anymore than I know the stranger reading this, and I also know that isn't the way God intended a Parent child relationship to go. 
 Unfortunately I had a very hard and scary childhood. 
I have forgiven them both long ago and love them forever. 
That being true, I admit there has been a thirst.. an sort of emptiness all my life. Now lest go back to my family....
So here I am with my husband a male like my father, my son also a male... my daughters and me. ... and I find myself ...thirsty. I guess somehow I uncontiously thought, "if they could only believe in what I say, trust me that God is Truth..we would all be so much closer and love better and be full.. filled... no longer empty". I was searching for them to not only be saved for their sake but somehow I managed to turn it into mine as well. I needed to feel acceptance and love, trust, unity and comfort, I needed to feel that I matter, and I made a difference. When my family fell short of that need.... I felt alone. I fell into a dark pit of expectation, and judgment. Dont get me wrong... I always knew it was me who needed to get on my knees and pray for forgiveness for seeing them in that way. I have said many sorry's even when I did nothing was for my thoughts that I am always saying sorry. My sorry is for putting that expectation between the love I have for them. When it wasn't met, the feelings became disappointment. Not cause they were "doing it wrong", now it was because they werent giving me enough. 
( sorry if this is not making much sense.. its hard to explain). 
What I can explain is exactly this... I learned through this song and through Marks explanation of the song.... 
Is that I was coming to the hole in the ground and not the Well of life. 
See, God is the Well Spring of life! Jesus says... 

"but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” ~ John 4:14

I have what you need, but you keep on searching
Ive done all the work, but you keep on working
When your running on empty and you cant find the remedy 
Just come to the Well. 
~ Casting Crowns "The Well"

This comes from the story of the Samaritan woman at the well who meets and talks to Jesus

When I am running on empty and the world is not filling my voids.. I have to remember... Jesus is the only one who can fill my needs. Beautifully put by Mark Hall... God has crafted us so perfectly that he knew that only HE could fill those wants, those empty spots, those comforts... Those who thirst daily can turn to Him and Come to His well.. and never thirst again. Amen!! 

So in conclusion..(cause I can go on and on forever and its already 130am) I will say this... 

1: I have no business judging anyone least bit my family. I DO love them immensely, and in order to show that I must love God more! I love him first! Then I learn to love them in the best way. 
2: I need to learn how to stop coming to the world when I thirst. My family love me, and they care about me greatly. I know they want to give me all they have even when they dont know what that is or looks like. Still, the only place my thirst can be quenched is in Jesus! He is my well spring of LIFE. I have to learn to lean on him for fulfillment and he promises to never let me down, always accept me, always be proud of my achievements, always encourage me, always make me feel I am important, I am loved... 
And for no other reason than ... He Loves Me TRAIN WRECK and all!! 
I believe with my whole heart JESUS is the truth the way and the life! AMEN!

Whew... that's a lot off my chest! 
There is all kinds of "meat and potatoes" I left out in this.. but I dont want to give out all the details and thoughts. I may decide to write a book one day, and you wont buy it cause you already read it here! LOL. If there is something that is confusing in the this blog, please feel free to leave a comment, and I will try to elaborate. :) 

Thank you for your interest. 
If there is anything to understand about following the Narrow path.. is that its HARD!!
 BUT.. God promises will never return void!!! Thank you JESUS!!

Be Blessed!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Thanksgiving Thanks!!

I hope everyone has a blessed Thanksgiving!! 

I have to say that I am pretty thankful that I am connected to the Lord! I am thankful that I am no longer blinded and deafened by the enemy. I am renewed and washed clean, for the blood of the Lamb I am thankful! God is good, and He has given me a new day!! Thank you Lord!! 

My Father has touched not only my life, but my family is awaken! I thank the Lord for never returning void on His promises! My children cried out to Him in confusion, in desperation, in uncertainty.. and He has heard them. They now cry to Him with thanksgiving and pray for growth! My husband once uncertain, and in disbelief cried out to God for understanding and encouragement, and through his faith .. Father God Heard him!! My husband is becoming the courageous leader he always was meant to be.. He is also finding great joy in doing the works of the Lord. My husband once at a loss for words.. now recognizes when I am being attacked.. and he PRAYS over me!! Glory be to God!
 What a true blessing the Lord has shown us all! And this is just the beginning!! 
I look forward to all that the Lord will reveal in our lives.. 
and look toward the future with no worry or anxiety;
 for I am trusting in the Lord with all my heart and I lean not on my own understanding.
 (Proverbs. 3:5-6)
Thank you Jesus!!

Psalm 107:1 
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

May the Lord shine His Glory on you this Thanksgiving! 
Have a blessed and beautiful Holiday!

Thank you for reading!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What in the F is going on?! (made you laugh!)

So an update on what and How the Faith, Family and Friends are doin in my life.. 

I have to say, Lord God Almighty continues to reveal  his magnificentness ( yep new word) more and more to me in more and more ways. Its almost overwhelming. I never doubted that he would.. but didnt know the blessings would come one right after another!! Let me just give a brief summary of the many changes and blessings that have occurred in our home 
because of our FAITH!

With me: I have been able to tap into the gifts that God has given me more and more. Example, I have started to sew clothing, never had a class or lesson in my life.. picked up my machine and have now made several dresses, skirts, pants, pillows, and now working on shirts. My girls sport Mama Roo's style everywhere!! I never saw myself as a sewer.. but now.. I feel limitless!! I worship and sing while I sew and give all the glory to Him!! Its effortless! 
I have also started to see my gift of ministry take shape. I have been able to speak words of truth led by the Holly Spirit to my children, husband, and others...I know are not my words. The words hold Gods power and Grace! When I'm done speaking to them.. usually a blessing occurs in their life shortly after. I kid you not. Dont misunderstand, I'm not tooting my horn.. its not me at all.. I am not the one able to change a hair on anyone's head... 
I give all the glory to God. I am just overwhelmed by his Love! I pray to always be usable to help spread Gods Love. 
I have seen God make a way when there seems to be no way, answer prayers big and small. There have been times when my prayers "seemed" to go unanswered... those days I feel panic!! lol. I go around talking and talking and talking to Him... then wait and wait and wait.. and then pray and pray and pray. I finally reached a point of exhaustion with this cycle.. and just gave up looking for an answer in the way that " I thought" would work.. and POOF! Just like that, God delivered a message to me almost simultaneously..  
Through Jesse Duplantis!! lol. He said...
If God doesn't answer your prayers, its because he is waiting for you to make a choice. He wants you to make and choice and know that he got's your back! At the same time if God see's that your choices aren't of the best interests for you.. 
he will tap you on the shoulder and help you see to back off.
 ( all that was said to him by God, and then the message came thru Jesse to me in a Louisiana accent!! lol Gotta love it!)
So God showed me that at times, he wont answer directly ... because he needs me to be strong, self confident, respectful and pure enough to make my choices and know that they are right and he will back them up.. if I start goin off the path he has for me.. 
he will remind me. Thank you Lord. 

My Husband: Has had many recent developments. He has started to see Gods glory in a way that he CANNOT ignore or pass off as just coincident. Gods grace has touched him and I see less and less doubt in him. He recently volunteered with me and some of the churches tribe members, at St. PJ's Children's home, where he opened up to the Tribe leader about his faith and walk with God. I was surprised he talked at all, my husband tends to be shy and reserved till he really gets to know a person. Where as I am fully open to talking to , praying with, and just enjoying company of others. So to see him there with me was pure joy, to see him talking with other christian men about God.. was beyond joy. And NO.. I didnt twist his arm! lol. In fact at first he said no to going, its his right and choice to do as he wishes. I continued on with my desire to attend and just prayed about it.. then POOF like that.. he changed his mind and decided to attend with me, and then enjoyed it completely!! What a blessing.. what a good man. I pray this is the first of many more to come... choices we make to help others. 
He has also been faced with many situations where he could clearly see the path that was "wide and easy"... and to much surprise he chose to take the "narrow path". yay! 

God works through many and with all things. I believe he is showing him the way .. and my husband grows in his faith daily. Why just the other day... we were "discussing" lol some issues that he felt he could never let go. He insisted that "things just dont work like that" when I explained to him how Gods Grace comes in repentance and forgiveness at the foot of the cross. I just kept repeating to him humbly that he need but have a faith in the Father.. and NOT WORRY. Well by golly.. if we didnt go to church the very next morning and Pastor gave a whole sermon on why we should NOT WORRY and trust the Lord to cleanse us of fears, doubts, and insecurity. Wow right!! Dont worry.. I didnt rub his nose in it.. I just asked with a smile " what did you think about service today? Pretty interesting huh?!" . He knows that I know that he knows it was God speakin to him. Absolute Glory! Can I get an AMEN! lol

MY EZEKIEL: Improvements all around. Grade, home life, friendships, and sibling relationships. He still challenges me from time to time.. but has learned to respect my authority! He respects me not because I said so, but because God said so. ( at least thats what it seems) All this change has come from him after he started reading the bible. Yep he picked it up and started reading whole books at a time. It helps that the bible is in comic book form! lol Yes your read right.. a comic book bible. lol. 

Hey if it works! The word of God is the word of God, printed on paper or a computer screen, on rice paper or photo, in a "traditional bible" or a comic Action Bible! I can not deny God is reaching him! And he is interested on his own to read more stories. He now talks to me about the stories he read without hesitation, he no longer comes with doubt and questions.. he has started to come to me with answers and understanding. 
ALL ON HIS OWN! Praise be to God! 
He still challenges his ability to get straight A's this its a tough spot for any kid at this age. He is figuring it all out, who he is.. who he is not, and who he would like to be. I have major faith he will make it through, better yet .. overcome all this years obstacles. The best moment with him these past two weeks.. was when he saw I was having a hard day.. he stood at the stairs (not letting me pass sorta) and just said.."abrazo" which is hug in Spanish. I Hugged him.. and I wept a lil. Finally someone in my home offers to GIVE me a hug in my time of need. How beautiful is that!! I love this kiddo.. 
My Ezekiel had it right.. When he was little, he said "Mom , I feel like God put me here on this earth for a very special reason.. more special than everyone else's." . I do believe that one of those "reasons" I felt when he hugged me. Thank you Lord. Thank you Son. 

Trinity and the Girls: What can I say they are awesome. 
We have all been sick and home bound for the past two weeks.. and not a day has passed where we didnt laugh and love one another!! 
The Twinks, graduated from the 2yr old toddler room at church and now are in the 3yr old room. They are learning the 10 commandments to the tune of twinkle twinkle! 
They totally enjoy it!
Trinity prays like she has been doin it all her life.. she talks to God and prays for others.. its amazing!!  She turns to him for support. She turns to me for understanding. She struggles with her "tude"!! lol
 However, she is 10 and this must come to pass for her to gain the wisdom she needs to later be a humble person. 
Trinity has not brought home another "N" and every morning she prays and puts on the 

Our Friends: Those who are in our lives as "friends" are good to us. Our brothers and sisters in Christ have been few, but I feel a growth coming in our direction. No, not a baby.. but a burst of new brother and sisters to include in our lives and call friends. 
My beautiful sister in Christ Valerie, is expecting!! Praise God! Its just a continual confirmation that God is all around, in all of our lives.. and he is ready to bless us all.. if we let him. This child already has a testimony that will continue to prove Gods grace, love and power!! Woot! So happy for them. 

Last Note:

Letter to all my "friends"... 

I miss you... even though.. I am a Christ follower and I have changed. All of my changes have been to amplify in me what God had originally placed and planned for me. I have not taken away any of the good that is in me, I have only turned it up a notch or two! I am still me.. still fun.. still strong.. still willing to be there for you.. still Roo. Still a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend.... Still here. Don't be "turned off" by my constant choice to follow Jesus, for its my life's joy. I promise to always love and care for you as you are. I dont judge you as I would hope you do not judge me, for judgment belongs to the Creator alone. Feel free to ask me questions, oppose my ideas or thoughts, agree with my opinions, or just get to know me more through chit chat. I do my best to be my best.. and to keep up with all that I desire to do in my life, which includes loving my friends. 
Thank you Amigos!

Thank you for your interest!

May God Bless you!


Wednesday, November 9, 2011

I Gots Smarts Real Gud! (Current matters of interest/ things I am "checking into")

As mentioned in the post before, I am currently studying many topics and views of the world. I feel its very important for me and my family to understand where this world is heading. As I study and read up on topics and consider all views of those who report. I never lose sight of the ONE TRUTH that is God. I never go where the Holy Spirit doesn't guide me to go. I feel its important for all mankind to know the events of this world. To not be blindsided when things occur right in your neighborhood. Yes we would all love to live in a blind blissful state of being, and if this is Gods will for you then so be it, however.. I know in my heart without shadow of doubt my responsibility is to educate myself, my family, and whomever it may concern.. Christian and those of no faith alike.  As I read up on these certain topics, I do not worry or fear... nor should anyone who knows they have been redeemed. Trust with your whole heart in the Lord and the Truth shall set you free. The purpose for this blog is to share what knowledge I have been given. Not all findings are complete or of one particular opinion over another. They are simple just topics that I have been following. Feel free to click on the links below the findings are revealing. 

RIFD Technology... Scary? or efficient? or both? 

Of course this one follows ...

Judgment Day... End Times... Armageddon ...

Here's what HISTORY CHANNEL has to say about it... (many different "religious views if you press 'watch more')

Here is what Pastor Hagee has to say about it....

More interesting reads on END TIMES...

Some other scary or seemingly unnecessary technology or construction throughout the world.

Picture of a playgroup via Google Street View
( doubtful that there has been an explosion of kidnappings due to these cameras.. I am more concerned at a Government level. With power to know what we are doing at all times and where we go.. if our country did turn "against us" how could we escape their watchful eye?)


What I wanna know ... what kind of  disaster are they predicting we might be having that will impact us NATION wide and all at once?! It seems like whatever they know and we DONT.. may be big enough to get the whole country warned and involved. Safety reasons/ monetary aid? ahuh.. cause all of America is going to just stop what they are doing and listen/give?? Safety, cause the whole country is going to be called to do what? duck and cover under our desks? . .. oh sure.. better to be safe than sorry huh..

((((ADDED BUZZ!!))))

Sorry to have left this out!! Check it out for yourself! Whats happening in and around the world.. Iran doesnt want to play nice!

MOST IMPORTANTLY....!!!!!!!!!!!

I share these things with you cause its what I am currently reading up on. NOT to make you fear to leave your home.  I am in no way retreating to mountains and forcing my family to wear foil head gear! lol.
However, if you do fear for the future, there is a way to help make you feel better. 

I believe in my soul, that I am connected forever more with the Living God through the Holly Spirit! God has blessed me with his Grace and I am saved through the blood of the Lamb. The future might be grim or uncertain but our Father said...
Eternal salvation:

Psa.37:24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: 

for the Lord unholdeth him with His hand

Jn.3:36a He that believeth on the Son...hath everlasting life

Jn.6:37 Him that cometh to Me I will in no wise cast out
Jn.10:28 I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish,
 neither shall any man pluck them out of My hand
Rom.8:38,39 I am persuaded that [nothing] shall be able to separate us from the love of God..
.in Christ Jesus
1Cor.3:11-15 [If works are] wood, hay and stubble...shall be burned, yet he himself shall be saved
1Cor.5:5 Destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved
Heb.13:5b I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee
2Tim.2:13 Though we believe not, yet He abideth faithful
1Jn.5:13 Ye may know that ye have eternal life

 But the Lord will chasten you for wrongdoing:

Psalm 89:30-34

GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)

    30“If his descendants abandon my teachings
      and do not live by my rules,
 31if they violate my laws
      and do not obey my commandments,
 32then with a rod I will punish their rebellion
      and their crimes with beatings.
 33But I will not take my mercy away from him
      or allow my truth to become a lie.
 34I will not dishonor my promise
      or alter my own agreement.

Revelation 3:19

GOD’S WORD Translation (GW)
19I correct and discipline everyone I love. Take this seriously, and change the way you think and act.

Receiving Jesus guarantees eternal life in Heaven:

Rom.6:23b The gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ

Jn.11:26 Whosoever...believeth in Me shall never die

Jn.14:2-3 In My Father's house are many mansions

1Pet.1:3,4 Incorruptible inheritance reserved in Heaven for you

1Jn.5:11 God hath given to us eternal His Son

(See Rev.21:1-27 and 22:1-5 for a description of Heaven)

I urge you to pick up a bible and just start reading.. anywhere.. allow your faith to guide you. Then see what God says to you, and who he always wanted you to be. His love is ever lasting and is more beautiful than anything I have ever experienced! I can never say it enough. And if I be a fool.. then I am a fool for Jesus! My Lord and Savior!  To me that beats any ; Team sport, dance star, famous actor, fancy car, race way, president, nationality or country flag, that the world has no problem being a "fool" for. 

I am complete and full. My life at its worse day is still a best day thanks to My Father! The King of Kings!
Praise God! 

Thank you For reading

May God Bless You!

Friday, November 4, 2011

Church, Church, Church.. whats the Deal?!

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who said:

" I go to church. I hate it... so I go to bible study on Thursdays, which I enjoy very much.  I question everything and usually I find that the answer is mostly already within and that any answer given to me only confuses me more.  It reinforces that God lives in us and he talk to us in our individual language.  He knows how to reach us if we are willing to listen.

       I suppose I lean more towards trying to understand my spirituality rather than to follow a path provided by a "religion", which is not the same as faith.  It is said that "many wars have been fought in the name of God", I say that is wrong, they were fought in the name of religion.  Religion is not prescribed anywhere in the bible.  I will challenge anyone who says otherwise to show me."

Wow! Is what I thought to myself. This sounded soo much like something I would have said almost to the letter last year. I was very confident that "spirituality" was the way to go. That I just needed to "look within" to find all the answers or to find that warm fuzzy feeling. For me 1 year ago, this "SEEMED" the right way. My friend was right about God talking to us if we are willing to listen, as per my last post. Yes.. also many wars have been fought in the name of "religion" this is unfortunate. Its also sad that many have been  killed in the name of Faith as well.. faith in Jesus Christ and the Gospel. (Which is not a religion). Yet the Gospel brought good news of those who where persecuted for His name sake... salvation, eternal life in the kingdom of heaven!! Whew.. Thank You Jesus!! 

This was my reply:
A few things that I can see clearly here for you... 

1: You need to find a better church. lol 

2: You need to reach a point where you stop looking for questions to ask.

3: Continue to read the Bible no matter what. Seeds will be planted. 

and finally 

4:  Hallelujah! may God bless you with sight . 
(I said this because I had no idea my friend was going to church, and because the enemy will try to blind us with confusion. )

Now if You care to read the following.. it is some bible verses talking about what GOD not man, no Buddah....  but The GOD expects from his children. 

Note what God says in Hebrews 10:19 25. Carefully read the passage:

           "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus, By a new and living way, which he hath consecrated for us, through the veil, that is to say, his flesh; And having an high priest over the house of God; Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. "

Now allow me to put this in a more simple way... take note to the last passage..(25)

19 Brothers and sisters, we have confidence that we can enter the holy of holies by means of Jesus’ blood, 20 through a new and living way that he opened up for us through the curtain, which is his body, 21 and we have a great high priest over God’s house.
 22 Therefore, let’s draw near with a genuine heart with the certainty that our faith gives us, since our hearts are sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies are washed with pure water.
 23 Let’s hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, because the one who made the promises is reliable.
 24 Let’s also think about how to motivate each other to show love and to do good works. 25 Don’t stop meeting together with other believers, which some people have gotten into the habit of doing. Instead, encourage each other, especially as you see the day drawing near.

MARK 16:15
And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation."

How can this be done without the church? Will you open the door to the word? Or will you pretend you are not home, like so many do to the Jehovah. How else will the Gospel reach "all creation"? Churches not only create places for locals to go, but they also (they meaning the congregation) fund evangelist missions, and televangelist programs. 

 MATTHEW 16:18
"And I say also unto you, That you are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hades shall not prevail against it."

Peter which means rock, was to be the example of church so to speak. He was the first to recognize Jesus as the "Son of the Living GOD". Because of this he was blessed and given that name Peter. (original name Simon). Anywho if you know the bible Peter denies Jesus 3 times. Then some time after the crucifixion of our Savior, he repents and establishes his ministry and spreads the Gospel following PAUL ( who is my favorite by the way). Paul establishes churches throughout the lands of the Gentiles, and later Peter goes to secure them. There is tons of meat and potatoes between all this I wrote,  but that's the simple gist of it. I see Peter a perfect representation of what the "church" can do, and what Christianity is all about. 
At first we ( humans) were with God, then the unspeakable.. we separated ourself from him, through sin. Then repentance/ forgiveness came ( from our Savior Jesus). The Gift of the Holy Spirit was given to us, and the word of God can now be spread "to all creation". (as is the responsibility of a Christian)

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them".
Its neat that a church is one of the ways we can have this! 

I went on to write : 
Its like anything else in life My friend. If you want to be a musician... you meet with like minded people to learn from one another. There usually is always an instructor or most advanced person in the group. Then you go on to share your talents and passion for the art. Same as it is for a church. You go NOT to join the crest of the Pastor or church but to make your soul rich. Rich with the knowledge of the words and how it can apply to us in our day to day. ( much like I translated or made easy to understand the verse above HEBREW 10: 19-25. You do not need to go to church and "become a member". There is a difference in attending or joining. I am not a "member" of my churchs congregation. ( not that I dont want to be, but I have little time to do the lessons currently. One day maybe.) The point is, if you find a GOOD church.. go to it with an open heart, know that you go to find God, not religion. Judge not the people or Pastor... for their judgments are none of your concern. Go to church to understand the word of the Lord. We may all think we are the smartest of smarts, but sometimes it can be really difficult to understand the Bible. I know The old testament brought the Beginning as well as law and order so to speak.. the NEW Testament which is the gospel brings JESUS.. who brings repentance and salvation. Its some pretty darn good news!! :) So it is helpful to go to a place where there are many who have sought out the same questions. And don't stop with church.. continue your study at home, there are many many ways to discover the messages of God. Prayer is also a very powerful way to talk to God, and he will help you to decipher through the questions. 

Importantly,  before you make any choice... for example... to challenge anyone.. is to make a choice.. to doubt.. is a feel you are wiser than all .. is a choice... to think that just "being good or spiritual" is enough .. thats a choice. ... so before you make a spoken or heartfelt choice.. read more, find out more.. research the authenticity of the bible and how "true" it is. Go with an open mind and heart, and you'll be surprised how quickly God will speak to you when you bring down your walls. 

Some times the way the "seems right" is just that ... a seemingly right way.. but not THE right way.

Lastly and MOST importantly....
Remember.. Christianity only means " Christ like" or "follower of Christ". It was a name given to us by the Romans who were labeling Paul and his group of listeners as they took up the study and words of Jesus Christ. So its not a religion... its a group of people who for centuries have died because they have chosen to go off the actual words of the Messiah vs "the church" . 

( Side note: I go to a church to help me understand, and to worship. I go to God, to serve. His voice reigns authority over any church, or power.. Amen! )

I strive to be Christ like all my days, and know yet... I will never reach. Still I am loved and forgiven and washed clean with the blood of Christ. 
I stand before men as a Kings Daughter forever more!
Praise be to God!

( side note: I totally am in no way complete in all the knowledge of the bible. Or history of Christianity. I have made mention before, I am studying. Not only at Sunday service, but every day all day is "church" or bible study for me. I have watched/read more documentaries on the Bible, Jesus, Old Testament, New Testament, the  Roman Catholic beginning, Manuscripts validity, Greek, Roman, Jews, Muslim, One World Order, History in general as it pertains to Christ BC and AD. As well as today's occurrences and prophecies, to include the coming One World Order. My studies are not complete, my learning is far from finished... my hope is it never be. Point is... what I speak is not just my own thought and understanding.  Its the Holy Spirit that drive me to hunger for the study. Never in my life have I been so studious. lol. I enjoy ever min of it. My only wish is that there were more "free" hrs in my day. )

Thank you for reading

May God Bless You!