Affliction + Endurance = Promised Victory

Today's evening sermon spoke right to me for many reasons. As the pastor was speaking I felt and thought to myself.. "surely God put those specific words in pastors mouth just for ME" then.. " wow, sorry people that this evening message was just for me." lol. Of course I know that it was not "just" for me.. but God is always so wonderful like that.. Even when I am in a room filled with hundreds of people.. he can speak right to me and make me feel like the only one. Its quite special what God does. 

Affliction and Endurance = Promised Victory

Thank you for reading my blog today.. Its been a while since I have blogged. Tons of things happening in the summer which get me all caught up and leaves little time for all the things I love to do. Like tell you my story. So tonight... I finally said.. YES to making time to blog. Glad to see you are still with me. 

My walk... slowed. By walk you understand I mean my forward motion in my practice of Christ like living. It started slowing at the start of summer... I got caught up in summer activities and the hustle and bustle of having all kiddos home, needing "super mom".. that by the end of my days I would feel fried. I noticed I started to become very robotic in my prayers.. then went to praying only in the morning, at meal times and a quick good night prayer. I caught this, but didn't feel I had the energy to do much about it. I started to feel most days just mentally drained by all the on goings of my day. Why I allowed myself to buy into the nonsense of me being "to tired to pray or devote any more time to God" I have no idea.. but really I know that the best thing for me is to take more time for Him.. and he will give me the strength. And He has.. cause God is good all the time! As I take steps to get back into the life he has set for me, each step he strengthens.. and I learn that through my moments of "exhaustion" I was learning endurance. See even though I haven't been praying as much or studying as much as I used to, I never changed my faith and love for my God. I never once thought God wasn't there still by my side. He was always with me, is always with me.. I just kept myself so busy that I didnt take time to acknowledge him or simply talk to him. My faith endured, My love endured. My hope endured, and because I endured through and kept My Lord in my heart... He heard my cries and he has raised me up and carried me through. Currently He carries me through those "busy" days.. and each day I am getting back to where I need to be. The truth as we all know.. is that its soo easy to get caught up in our day to day.. that important people can get set aside. Great news about MY GOD, he wont take me off his Facebook "friends" list if I forget to tell him hi. lol. He just waits patiently. when I am faithful in my passion for Christ, I will receive the promised victory. 

When my faith includes works once again... I will be blessed.

Affliction.... this is life sometimes.. and no one likes it. This is where the hard stuff comes in... Affliction, when something causes us to "suffer". Can God be in affliction? In my life.. I have been through many trials, many hurts, many betrayals.. and I can say the hardest is when those things happen right in the home. Affliction can be brought on you even by those who love you.. wow that's the hard stuff. Can God be there? in the midst of that? If so why isnt he doing something to help his "faithful servant?". Well.. if indeed you are that faithful servant... then I can say yes! God is there.. and he is quite possibly using this moment in your life to strengthen you and grow you.. to prepare you for what he has in store for you. So that at the end of your suffering.. all can see that He truly is a God that keeps his promise, He truly is a God that does things "His way" for your benefit and His Glory. In the end we are stronger for it, more humble because of it, and victoriously living the life we were meant to. Sounds hard though right.. I mean who really wants to go through all kinds of hurt or struggle to get to the "good stuff"? Do you? DO I? ... 

My answer..... Yes.  Because its what a humble servant does. Yes because I trust my God, Yes because I want to be able to live out the life God has for me. Yes because I want to learn, and understand, and not fall behind do to my lake of endurance. Yes because I know my God hears my prayers and he will answer and give unto me those things of which he knows my heart desires. 

For me, I have come to understand that God is so totally preparing me for something big.. I already see it coming together right before my eyes. He is using me to show His glory and His works. There is affliction, but that affliction is building me a testimony.... one of which others who see and hear it will without a doubt know is the great works of God.. and it will give hope to those who are in a similar position in their lives.

Every member of my family has been transformed over the past year, every single one of them. None of which I had anything to do with. In all my years of being a mother.. being a wife.. a daughter.. "my works" never managed to change one inch of our "troubles". God comes in and in a matter of months nothing is as it were. The moment I let go and let God take over.. everything has fallen into a very specific place in time that only God can foresee and simultaneously direct. There is good stuff going on inside of us all and I see it daily. 

So I guess what I am tryin to relay to you, is this, even when it seems that your world is upside down.. or moving at the speed of light.. or just plain stuck in a groundhog day effect.. don't give up hope. Don't abandon your faith, don't set God aside to "rest". God is more than enough and he wants to strengthen your every step. Even in times of affliction, don't think God isnt there making sure things don't get too carried away.. or stray you so far that you don't see or hear him any more.. Keep being faithful. Keep praying .. keep an expectant heart! And rejoice.. cause the end result of your patience, obedience, and endurance.. is going to be such a sweet sweet victory that you will not be able to contain it. I believe this with my whole heart. And its why I write. I want to be living proof of Gods Glory. I am his faithful servant, I do endure through this life and its sometimes "not so great" situations.. because My precious God loves me.. and He will keep to his promise.. He will never leave me or forsake me.. He will grant me my victory.. my hearts desires.. He will make a way for me whenever there seems to be no way, He will grant me prosperity, and when he stands for me , no one will be able to stand against me. 

and I will say.. that just being loved by Him is already enough.

 I am taking steps to get back in line with Gods will for me.. as it is in heaven so shall it be on earth. 

I will write again soon. 

Thank you for reading.

PERFECT GIFT!!

It has been a few weeks since my last post... 

This I will assure you, GOD is still perfect! And GOOD! 

A few things I want to share. One... This past Memorial Day marks the 1yr anniversary ( I suppose we can call it that) of me surrendering to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. 1 Year since I have practiced the walk and the talk!!! Hallelujah God has been faithful and good through it all. I am still on fire for God.. I am still so passionate about my Lord... and I am still growing and learning and surrendering to his will and glorifying him for all the blessings. 

Today God gave me a gift!!! 

Since I have been going to Cornerstone Church, I have always tithed and always enjoyed all the church had to offer. I had known the difference of attending church and being a member of the church. I didnt feel it necessary at first to "become a member". And to get to know God, that still holds true.. I have been communicating with my God for this entire year and not needed a membership card to talk to my creator!  However, over time I have discovered some great benefits to becoming a member... for instance, free classes that non members would otherwise pay a fee for.. discounted retreats... and the big one.. discount on my sons education at CCS (Cornerstone Christian school). So as you can see becoming a member has its benefits. I also learned that there are tons of great things that come with being member that I DIDNT know about.. like, using their camp/retreat site at Tarpley, use of the church gym!, and I actually get a membership card! lol. which is kinda cool. lol. 

So today I spent the day at the church with my family learning what our church is all about, a bit of history on Pastor and the making of Cornerstone, along with what our church stands for and what parts of the bible does it stand in belief for... if your wondering... ALL OF IT. ALL THE GOSPEL, All the NEW AND OLD TESTAMENT. Amen! I know this is one of the things that most drew me to embrace Pastor and his teachings.. because he preaches right from the book. AT least since I have been there.. I have found nothing contradictory about anything he says. If I feel something didn't sound right, I have my own book to cross reference it.. and its always in accord. 

(side note: If you ever had that feeling that maybe you believed some of the bible but not all of it.. or if maybe the bible isnt exactly truth .. maybe some guys who wrote it just added some fun stuff in there.. I will tell you to test it.. The bible is the only book that was written over a period of some1400-1800 years by 40 different authors, and never once does it contradict itself. ) 

The class was great! The information was great!! The reading of the word was most excellent!! and they had a pretty tasty lunch the gave us as well!! PLUS Free child care!!! If that wasnt enough... 

GOD GAVE ME A GIFT!!!

Towards the end of the class we go over a few last topics and then we prayed before departing, and then the person teaching the class kinda does an alter call.. but this alter call wasn't to be saved, and acknowledge Jesus as our savior ( cause we obviously had already done that).. it was to be baptized.. but not by water.. baptized in the HOLY SPIRIT! 

Ok so I was thinking like many others... ... er?! then he goes to explain ... 

The baptism in the Holy Spirit is an empowering for service that takes place in the life of the Christian (Acts 1:5,8). In it we are immersed in the Spirit's life and power.

ACTS 1;5-8

⁵ For John baptized with^[a] water, but in a few days you will be baptized with^[b] the Holy Spirit.”

⁶ Then they gathered around him and asked him, “Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?”

⁷ He said to them: “It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. ⁸ But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”


Matthew 3:11. "I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." John the Baptist, was promising that when the Messiah came He would baptize them with the Holy Spirit. It was a promise of the indwelling of the Spirit of God. This was confirmed by Peter in Acts 11:16.


There are ton more scriptures about being baptized in the Holy Spirit.. you can look those up if you like or ask and I will send them to you... but for me I think the best thing I can say.. is that as I stood in the line of people who had chosen this day to get baptized in the Holy Spirit... I was excited!! I mean I really was nervous, but in a good way, I was shaking.. and i was smiling so big that my cheeks hurt! It was as if any moment I was going to be surprised with the biggest bestest gift I had never even seen or known about really. As I stood there.. 5th in line I believe... eyes closed... I prayed and asked God to give my the gift of the Holy Spirit in me .... and when the oil anointed my head and the prayers of Gods language poured over me.. My God stood to his promise... and I received the Holy Spirit! ... I began to speak in tongues .. my own special language to MY FATHER! 


Tears, tears! of joy and pain and complete surrender.. tears of love oh the LOVE!! I was for those few moments... in communion with GOD. Are you getting what I am saying.... wow! It was amazing.. of course, it was kinda scary at the same time.. and yes! a little embarrassing.. sorta.. cause I thought.. what did I sound like?? are they hearing me.. my husband was right next to me.. what happened to him.. did he talk in tongue too? is he freakin out to hear me?? lol. All these thoughts were mere seconds.. and then just .. just JOY.. great joy inside my spirit and heart. wow. 

Maybe you are thinking now.. that it was probably just something that happened cause I was caught up in the moment or that i was influenced by the leader... sure that might be something valid... BUT.. that doesnt explain me talking in tongues tonight while praying before writing this blog. I tell you I talked in tongues so loud that my pets  were all excited and stimulated around me. My twin daughters that were just laid down to bed .. stopped their giggling and foolin around and by the end of it, they were snoring. I prayed and sang in tongs so loud and full of joy and tears this evening.. that I was nearly parched by the end of it.. I almost couldn't stop! lol. It felt as if I had been needing to talk to God about certain things that in English I Just couldn't get it out.. like I kept myself from saying those things in prayer or feeling those things in worship.. I dunno know how better to explain it.. just to say.. that on my one year "anniversary" of picking up the cross and following Jesus..  

God, My Father, gave me the most PERFECT GIFT EVER!! 

I LOVE YOU  אבא !

Thank You for reading!

May God bless you today and every day!

Faith Without Works Is Dead.

I WILL FOLLOW YOU LORD!

Today while driving my son to school.. ( lots of things seems to manifest while driving my son to school.. my Ezekiel is destine to be great I just know it) .. My son witnessed me waving to a neighbor who was out walking his dogs. He looked at me and asked if that was the police officer that lives across from us.. I said no, that's just a neighbor from the neighborhood. Then puzzled he continues... How do you know all these people?! How do you just walk up to people and like that get to know them? After a chuckle .. I replied.. Son, I don't know, know him.. in fact I couldn't even tell you his name. All I know is he is a child of God.. weather he knows it or not.. and I want to greet him with the light of Jesus.. cause there may be a day, when I do actually speak to him.. and I want him to know and understand.. the Jesus in me. He was still puzzled and said , " Mom I just wanted to know how you got to the point of walking up to him and saying hi".( my lil impatient son) I told him, I haven't.. I don't need to. He simply waves back because its a "friendly gesture".. My purpose is to continue to shine the light for those who walk in the dark. I always want to put my Jesus foot first! He just smiled and nodded. I think he will mediate on this a little today. 

Matthew 16:24 Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

I LOVE LOVE this verse... I always pray to have a heart that is inclined to follow Christ, even when it seems scary or an impossible mission, the reason.. is because the victory is already won! Amen!

Thank you for reading

May God Bless you on your journey and tug on your heart

 to be the light this world desperately needs. 

Transform Me

I had this dream... 

Like most my dreams there is color, and temperature and sound. 

In this dream I was flying out of my body.. 

I flew to Germany.. I flew to visit my ex-husbands family. 

During my flight I flew over a group of butterflies/ possibly moths that were marching back and forth on the sidewalk ( kind of like ants do back and forth to their colony). Theses butterflies had pieces of material attached to their wings... like an extension of their wings but the wing was material.. like fabrics.. all sorts of sheers and silks and soft flowy fabric. The fabric was floating straight up as the wings would.. I wondered how that was happening but didnt pay much mind, I did however ask" what are they doing" ( who did I ask? I dunno) But I got an answer.. not in a voice.. just in a knowledge.. that they were mating. I said to myself.. oh. and then proceeded to fly on. I flew into the house of my past marriage, it was modern day and time. As I sat and watched the current family there, (ex's new wife and small children) I noticed that My ex could see me. Although he was forbidden to acknowledge me. I asked out loud, "you can see me cant you?" and he nodded yes. The family continued to function regularly over the course of the meal.. Next came in my ex mother in law. She was accompanied by a friend who brought with her a dress.. a most beautiful dress.. it was made with this beautiful burgundy material that I actually own. I remember looking at it in the dream trying to figure out how it was made so I could recreate it. ( at this point I think I was realizing its a dream about a dress i need to make).  I had to leave cause morning was coming here back in Tx.. So I said good bye to my ex.. reminded him to smile, saying " God has made every day special, try to enjoy it.. smile a little more"... and I left. As I was coming back to my home.. I flew back over the area where the butterflies were.. only now there lay bundles of butterflies and fabric. I asked again " what happened, what are they doing'. The understanding came again not in a voice really just in a knowledge.. " They have died. This is the natural life span.. they emerge.. they fly around doing what they know, then they reproduce and die. They accomplish their purpose." ... I said.. " ok". Then the knowledge said " you may take the fabric now and use it " . So I did. I began to float back home....

When my daughter woke me ... " MOM!" .. I was startled cause I had slept past my wake up time. I asked her if it was time for the bus already.. and she told me no... then I said Im sorry for not waking up earlier.. Then I asked what is it that she wanted.. She said ...

"Mom there is a butterfly in our house!!"

Indeed there was a butterfly flying above my sewing area. 

Transformation..... God I pray your will be done, and you transform me to be less of me and more of you. Thank you for this dream.. thank you for this experience. I pray to learn more of what your plans are for me, and pray for the wisdom and patience to follow them. Amen. 

Thank you for sharing with me on my transformation.

 May God bless you and enlighten you daily on yours.

AGAPE!

do BE do BE do BE

A quick note about what it is to just BE... and not so much do! 

So like most of my blogs this one comes from an email conversation I had with a friend. Whats important here is the context of what was written. I often find that my knowledge and ability to put my faith and My Jesus into words comes when I am speaking to others about them. Below is excerpts from that email...

 God is good all the time... so just have faith and seek him with your whole heart.... then you will find him. Take 15 min out of your day every day to just sit in the silence and meditate on his love, on his majesty.. he is the creator of all things.. he is woven into all things.. if you take just 15 min sit in your car in the lot.. and close your eyes.. and just be in his presence... I guarantee things in your life will become more clear... and Gods plan for you and your family will start to reveal itself.. ...I challenge you to do this. :)

I tried the 15 minutes thing and it works, it was one of the things I learned in our bible group.  But there is one really important question he (God) doesn't seem to answer.  It is almost as if he is either letting me decide on my own or He is telling both options I have are just as good as it is bad... I don't know, I don't really get a real picture. So, as I am finshing this email, I am going to talk to my chaplin.  He and I started talking the other day and he said that perhaps I am not liking what God is telling me and I am refusing to hear it.  So I am going down in the next few minutes to see if he if there is anything I can do to hear what I may not want to.  Funny hu?

Well.. this is what I've learned about "Gods answers"... sometimes we aren't really listening to them, because we just want it broken down to plain YES or NO.  

Sometimes.. its more complicated then that.. 

God answers always this is the truth..... just not in the way we want.. remember HIS ways are not our ways.. but they are always the BEST ways. Amen!

In order to hear God, you have to be in his presence... its like being in another level of consciousness. Then we must stand on his promises to us.. in order to do this... you have to know what they are. When we live in his word.. his promises.... can now take shape and manifest in our hearts and minds.. allowing us to experience that special relationship with GOD. Where in that relationship He does speak very bluntly and obvious to us.

It takes time.. and it takes ... being still and knowing he is God. 

In life I am know I am often too focused on the doing doing doing of life.. doing the right thing for my business, doing this to help that, doing it all so it is done.. doing doing... We need to take time to just BE.. be in this state of mind where we are connecting to everything and everything is connecting to us.. then we realize that , that is a connection with God. Its just BEing still and knowing he is there.. then like that our eternal being is awaken and it then can guide our primal being. Its really amazing! Yet so hard to find the time to do.. er be.. :)

Lastly ... sometimes I have to remind myself that there are going to be times when His answer is just flat out NO.  And I know when he is saying no.. because nothing will fall into place when i take steps in that direction of which he is saying NO to. In my stubbornness I say.. "God hasn't answered me yet, so I'm going forward" .. then nothing works out right.. and I realize ok.. ok.. Im turnin round. The moment I do that.. all things start to fall into a better place then before.

I know when I am on Gods path for me, because of two things..

1: Great blessings  and 2: Great trials.  It sounds nuts.. but its totally true. 

Finally... realize.. that if you keep your eyes, mind and heart focused on having a relationship with him.. this means; putting him before your needs,desires, and other  family members.... he will bless you with an answer and then some! Then all those other things.. family, money, desires.. etc. will fall into place and be better then you ever thought it could be. 

God is a master in making a way where there seems to be no way. 

We just have to learn to reprogram our way of thinking... and be a little patient. 

Try to just BE.... and leave the "Doing" to Him.

 This is called FAITH. 

Thank you for sharing in my journey. May God always bless you along yours. 

PS: Great documentary I saw on Quantum Physics. Seems like science is getting in line with what has always been. Great things happening here... its all about reprogramming. Take time to watch it.. very interesting indisputable stuff here! I call it GOD.. I call it Jesus! Eventually science will proclaim the same in a more pronounced way... yep.. it'll catch on. 

click ---> Quantum Activist

Forgiveness is for us

Matthew 18:21-22

   21Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

My Mother... 

Many trials in her life have left her scared with strife

Many hurts and many pains has left her with very little in gains

Because of unwise choices, deceitful delight, 

many tears fell silently... painfully...  in the night

And in time both hearts died, first her's.... then mine

But God is good all the time!

Now a relationship once convinced of the darkness

has sparked and rekindled its sweetness!

A child who once cried out in affliction

Now see's the woman and not the addiction!

A woman who once walked in the night 

Now sweetly sings in the light... 

That women, My Mother... 

Sent me a Birthday card Today!!

Todays Blog I dedicate to my Mother who is the chosen parent of my life. God is good all the time, and He knew me then as he knows me now... He knew who I needed in my life and he placed them there. Praise God. 

My Mother, wasn't always there for me in the traditional sense.... but that's ok. She showed me the things in life I needed to know and see in order to get me to be me.(if that makes sense) God always held me, even when I was not seeking him. For a long time I had pain and anger for choices my parents made, I was sad and often felt alone. I was able to pull myself through those times and realize that I didnt have to hold on to that pain... I didnt have to hold on to the darkness. I learned to forgive. I forgave my parents for their life choices and more than that I have been able to show empathy for both. I know God see's their pain, and I know he is with them as he has always been with me. I forgave my Mother many years ago, but it has only been recently in the past year.. with Gods mercy and grace.. that she and I have been able to really share words of love. I love her today more than yesterday.. and I am working on a relationship with her. To God be the glory.  

In the bible it says to forgive 490 times.. what Jesus is saying is .. there is no limit to how much we should forgive. When we forgive... we really do it for us. We are not saying (by forgiving) that what a person has done or done to you was/is right or ok. .. we are simply saying " I dont have to allow it to hurt me". 

When we chose to withhold forgiveness from one another, we not only are saying I want to hold this person in a perpetual state of guilt and shame... but also that we want to prolong our own suffering. We are making the choice to victimize ourselves. By holding onto the grudge of pain we are encasing it and essentially a part of us prisoner. To forgive is to release the pain, the suffering, the ugliness.. and suffer never more from it. 

when we forgive others we free ourselves from all the suffering... all the pain.. all the anger.. alll the bitterness and resentment, its those very things that keep us from enjoying the blessings of peace we have before us today. Forgiveness is for us.

I think about how God forgives.. and how my sins have been forgiven... I think about how I have made mistakes with my children, and thought... I hope they forgive me. 

Love lives in forgiveness. 

My relationship and love with my mother lives in our forgiveness... and today for the FIRST time in many of my adult years... she sent me a birthday card!  This is a big deal, and really special. It filled my heart with joy and my eyes with tears. I'm so thankful and so grateful to know forgiveness and now her Love. 

Forgiving shouldn't be associated with "bowing out" , rather it should be correlated with being of strength and of love.

Thank you so much for sharing my journey. 

May God bless you

I watched a great great film on the power of forgiveness. Lots of great messages here and even scientific proof that anger and not forgiving can harm us internally. I found the film on netflix, but its also for 3bucks rental on youtube. check it out.. and walk away feeling ready to forgive it all. 

The Power of Forgiveness

Greater things are yet to come, Greater things are still to be done....

Greater things are yet to come... Greater things are yet to be done, in this city..

Wow! I am so happy to know that Our God is such a great God, and that He is with me always. So last update I told you that I was going to give some "God stories". I will have you know.. many many take place in my life every day.. most on what some would say "small scale" but to me anytime God is blessing me and my day, it isnt a small thing. 

Today I am gonna share with you two stories.. that kind of have to do with one another. 

First as I mentioned a few blogs back, that God has really be aiding me in this sewing venture. About a lil over two weeks ago I kicked off the start of  Roo's Fashions. Which is my new clothing and accessories line. In just that short of time, God has really been making stuff open up and form. This would include upgrading my knowledge on the "art of sewing". (remember I am a self taught seamstress aka sew person lol) When I sit down to sew, I always am listening to worship music.. and I really get into singing to God. I know he hears me and sings back, cause some songs I don't even realize I am crying while singing. lol. With my singing I also pray while sewing. This reminds me of what Paul the Apostle wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18...

^"16 Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus "

In my heart and throughout the day  and on my tongue I am in worship or praise or prayer of some kind almost always. Sewing is no exception. I pray over every project I begin, and pray for my work to be parallel to Gods will, and that whomever purchases the item, would be touch and inspired to know God. He has guided me and given me great ideas for dresses that I would not have even thought I could do. Lately my dress designs have come to me in dreams, or images that I get in the midst of my sleep. I believe these images are given to me by God. His way of helping me and holding me and telling me I am capable of more. Why I say that is because the dress designs He shows me are usually way beyond "my" sewing knowledge. lol. Still, When I sit down in faith, the dress seems to manifest on its own really. When things get too tough or confusing... I always speak God provision Philippians 4:13.....

13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,

And I do, because He does. 

Now my next story.. This one is FUN! 

This morning like almost every morning... I woke up with a song in my heart. The song is by Blue Tree song: God of this City. Great song! So I was driving back from taking my son to school..( which just a side note: was a pleasant ride, in mornings this is rare. Everyone woke up in a great mood, even the twins! My son was ready on time and very humble. Trinity woke up late but was able to calmly get ready in enough time and she even wore here girlie shoes, which is a bid deal! LOL ) So this song comes on the radio, and I was all about it!! Turned that puppy up and started worshiping and singing.. the twins even started in with me with hands lifted high! It was awesome. As I was singing I was reflection on what the lyrics meant to me..  Now I know that when the artist wrote the song he was in a foreign country looking out into the brothels and seeing all the children and all the sin, he kept peace by singing these lyrics "greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done.. in this city". This is awesome and reassuring to keep in heart, that God see's it all... and he is constantly working and weaving it all into a plan. He is not done yet.. there are greater things yet to come, on earth and in heaven. Amen!

 I like to also reflect this song to a more personal level while I sing it.. I see myself as "the city". Jesus says in Matthew 4:14 

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden;"

I desire to live my life as this. A light in the world, a city on a hill. Still sometimes I get unsure of myself.. sometimes I question if I'm making a mistake with this clothing venture, sometimes I wonder if anyone will even care or desire to get the "bigger message" . That's when I remember that God is not done with me yet.. and greater things are yet to come, greater things are yet to be done in THIS city. Praise God!! 

So the fun part of this is... I went to get some coffee in the morning before getting my son to school. At the Valero station, i bought coffee and some doughnuts for the kiddos. I pulled a 20$ from the profits that I had earned from Roo's Fashions. I was kinda feeling guilty cause I kinda made a mental promise that the money that Roo's made would not spend for anything other than 1- more material 2- Gods will in ministry which could be tithing, outreach, donation, helping someone etc. Yeah and here I was buying doughnuts and coffee.. it gets worse.. I also purchased lottery scratch offs with the money!!ugh!! lol. I am not a gambler per say.. lol.. but i do like to have fun with a few scratch off's here and there. I like every once and again picken up a few, so its not surprising or out of the ordinary that I would do this.. just bummed that i did it with the money I kinda dedicated to those two things. So anywho.. that was early morning before taking the boy to school.... now I was on my way back listening to this song (God of this city) and two great things happened.... One, as i was driving past the gas station on my road.. a lil girl probably 3-4yrs old was just wondering around the lot.. there were not many cars so it was easy to see her.. she was just dancing around ballerina style. So here I am listening to this song.. singing.. crying.. and then as almost in slow motion a lil girl dancing in the middle of a gas station all alone.! I came to a complete stop! ( thank God no cars were behind me) And i just stared at her... I wondered where her parents were.. and if I should get out and help her so she didn't walk out into traffic.. and at the same time I was in awe and just stared ... Finally! her mother showed up from out of a car that was parked along side the station.. and she just yelled (not even walked/ran to her) just yelled and motioned her to get in the car. At that moment another vehicle pulled in and almost hit her as she fell while running to her mom. (of course I almost jumped out my skin) The car stopped and the lil girl did get up and was safe. As I drove off i thought wow!! I wish i could have done something... at very least hugged her. Then I came back to this song.. and remembered God is still working here.. He was there.. That vehicle didn't hit her.. and even though this lil girl apparently didnt have a mother with the primal instinct of a mother lioness to protect her cub!.. she was still able to find happiness and joy as she danced and twirled across the lot. I imagine God holding her hand as she danced.. amazing. 

Now back to the scratch off's.. I finally get home and after settling in I get to my coffee and decided I am going to blog about what I just saw.. but before that, I prayed.. (as i do always before writing a blog). I thought about that lil girl and thought about my dresses and just thought about a way to make a difference in a place that sometimes seems so dark. How can I be the light Lord? Do I really have what it takes?.. is this what you really want for me to do? Its been moving quickly but the funds are coming slowly.. .. Amen! ( ok there was more in there lol but you get the gist) lol. NOW.. SCRATCH SCRATCH SCRATCH.. 5 bucks off a 1 dollar ticket!! woo hoo!!.. then nothing .. nothing.. and now $100..wha!! and then $100 whoa!... and $100 again!! wow!! I couldn't believe it!! 300 buck-a-roos on one ticket!!! wow, well of course I started crying and praying and thanking God.. not cause I am in need of money.. trust me my life is blessed and I never pray for prosperity really. I always tell God that I am ok with just enough.  Still I couldn't help but feel like this all tied in. Like God was saying YES!! Amber you have the heart!! You are My light!! Go with it!! Be my city on a hill, and know that GREATER THINGS ARE YET TO COME AND GREATER THINGS ARE STILL TO BE DONE IN THIS CITY!!!  Holy smokes!! Is God amazing or what!!!??! 

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying ya'll should run out and buy lottery tickets.. lol. I'm not supporting gambling or whatever.. lol. And NO God doesn't need to use scratch off's to talk to me.. but  He is a GOOD GOD, all the time, and is able to make all choices I make in my life  mold-able to shine His glory!! He replaced that 20$ I was feeling guilty about and gave me more to remind me greater things are yet to come.. maybe not prosperity wise.. and I'm ok with that.. but that Roo's Fashions and  the dreams and the outreach are going to produce the light! Amen!! This is great news!! God always shows me how much he loves me, to a point where I walk in a constant comfort! Its amazing! Yes, like anyone I may have my "days".. but then I remember ... There is still work that He is doing .. in THIS city! In ME! 

Thank you so much for reading and sharing this moment with me!

God bless YOU!

PS: If you are interested in checking out my site and Roo's Fashions heres the link! 

click ---> Roo's Fashions

All the Glory goes to Him!  

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME!

SORRY Its been so long since I last blogged. 

Going to give you the quick version of whats been going on in my life! 

I'm still in love with loving Jesus!! I am still walking the talk! 

Since I last blogged my family and I have had lots of "God moments". We have also learned a lot and grown as individuals. Some of the challenges we faced were small.. some where huge! Through it all there was always God and the love I have for him and the faith I carry in my heart. 

The trails:

Teenage rage and a ongoing debate over him not wanting to go to a private christian school

My family and I assisted distant relatives with a place of dwelling for nearly 3 months. Total number of people in my home was 14 this included 10 kids all but one under the age of 10. 

With that, Financial stress and physical exhaustion. 

Marital issues that seemed to stem from stress and lack of peace.

Illness, Every child in my family was sick at least three times over the past three months each episode lasting a week. 

Blessings and growth:

My choice to enroll my son in CCS school has been confirmed to be the right thing for him. God sent me many people who unbeknownst to them, spread to me the good news of CCS and how it has improved/changed the lives of their kids. My son was able to participate in a church theatrical production "Heavens gates Hells flames" where during one of the prayer sessions he was pulled aside and told by a lady who we barely know, that God told her that he was to be a very important/special person. This changed his mind and heart about the school and now things are going smoother. (this was not the first time he has been told this.. God himself talked to my son at a very young age and sent him this exact message).

The family that stayed with us although challenging at times, brought our family closer together and allowed us time to spend doing things outside the house together. We also learned through the changes we had to make, that we are fortunate in this life and we should always keep thanksgiving in our hearts for all that God has blessed us. We learned humbleness, humility and patience.. ( especially me) .

With financial strain came FAITH! and God had taken care of our debt. We had enough money through our tax return, to pay the bills that came with hosting so many, and still some to pay for half the tuition for CCS!

Through the strain, my relationship took a nose dive... But God is able to use it all.. I hit a low in my heart and life.. and wanted out. God gave me the grace and patience to take one day at a time. I learned to just keep my focus on him and let him deal with the rest. "the rest" is getting better day by day. 

With illness, I learned that I needed REST!! And I took it. Slowing my day to day activities and keeping kiddos in bed, left me plenty of time on my hands to CRAFT!! by the end of it I had completed 15 dresses and learned how to sew clothing for even myself. I began an idea that God gave to me, to start a christian line of children clothing. I kick off its debut this weekend!! 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!" Philippians: 4:13

So that is the short short version. Lots of laughs and tears thru all that.. but in the end.. 

GOD IS GOOD!! and he is good to me!! 

Which brings me to my next thing.. Gonna post an email of mine between myself and a friend. seems like I always get great ideas for blogs just being the light and talking about God to others.....  So here is the email, entitled God is good!

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ME: I better can appreciate my God. He was there... all along. Making sure.. that things never went Too far!

FRIEND: BUT WHY WASN'T HE THERE FOR MANY OTHER CHILDREN IN THE WORLD.  WHY YOU.  WHY ME.  WHY NOT OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS?  I AM NOT QUESTIONING HIS JUDGMENT OR REASON.  I AM SURE THEY ARE JUST AND RIGHT.  BUT WHY CAN'T WE KNOW THEY DID NOT GET TO LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO DISCOVER HIS GRACE.  WHY SO MANY IN AFRICA NEVER WILL NO MATTER HOW LONG THEY LIVE?  I JUST WISH WE WERE WORTHY ENOUGH TO KNOW OR INTELLECTUALLY HIGH ENOUGH FOR HIM TO TRUST US WITH SUCH INFORMATION.

ME :I was never raped, or overdosed. I never wanted to commit suicide, never beat to a pulp and left for dead. Never robbed of my spirit. Then.. when the time was right.. he delivered me. And my life as an adult has been really fortunate.. really blessed. Not because I deserved it.. not because I earned it. but because He loves me! And he delivered me time and time again from the pain.

FRIEND: I DON'T THINK IS JUST LOVE.  THERE HAS GOT TO BE ANOTHER REASON.  I SAY THIS BECAUSE HE LOVES ALL OF US AND YET WE DO NOT ALL GET SAVED.  WE ARE NOT ALL SHOWED THE SAME MERCY.  THERE HAS TO BE A REASON.  MY MOTHER SAYS THAT PERHAPS GOD MAKES OTHERS SUFFER TO SHOW US THE PAIN WE ARE BEING SAVED FROM OR PERHAPS EVERY CHILD BORN HAS AN SPIRIT OF AN ANGEL WITH A LESSON TO LEARN.

ME: I know that now.. all the blessings I have had in my life where gifts.. and I thank him every day for each and every one of them. I cant make up for lost time.. but I am sure to acknowledge him now and forever.

Sure.. life will still have its ups and downs.. cause Im still learning.... but now I know I dont have to do things on my own and if  I listen.. really listen.. He will guide  me to be the best me, and live the best life.

I GUESS WE ALL TURN TO HIM FOR OUR OWN REASON. 

 YOU SEEM TO TURN TO HIM FOR LOVE.  LOVE YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT SINCE I MET YOU.  I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT THEN, BUT PERHAPS YOU WERE LOOKING FOR GOD ALL ALONG.  PERHAPS YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR MAN TO GIVE THAT WHICH ONLY GOD CAN OFFER.  OF COURSE I REALIZE THAT I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT.  YOU SAID A FEW YEARS AGO THAT I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU ANYMORE.  PERHAPS THIS IS JUST MY OWN MOVIE IN MY HEAD TITLED: WHAT THE F@#$ HAPPENED BACK THEN? ANYWHO, I AM GLAD YOU FOUND LOVE.  I AM GLAD YOU FOUND IT IN GOD.  HE WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN. 

 I LOOK TO HIM FOR DIFFERENT REASONS.

LOVE IS NOT SOMETHING I LACK.  AND EVEN THOUGH UNTIL THIS DAY NO WOMAN HAS EVER HAS EVER LOVED ME AS SELFLESSLY AS I HAVE, EVEN THOUGH GOD HAS NOT YET BLESS ME WITH SUCH A COMPANION, I DON'T EVER FIND MYSELF CRAVING IT, MAYBE ONCE IN A WHILE I WISH I KNEW WHAT IT FELT LIKE, BUT IS MORE CURIOSITY THAN YEARNING.

SO WHY DO I LOOK TO/FOR HIM.  FOR COMFORT.  I LIKE THE FEELING I GET WHEN I AM REMEMBERED THAT NOTHING IS REALLY UNDER MY CONTROL.  I LIKE THE FEELING I GET WHEN I STAY CALM AND TRY TO LISTEN TO HIS GUIDANCE.  I LIKE THE FEELING I GET WHEN I FEEL HE IS TALKING TO ME EVEN THOUGH MOST TIMES I CAN'T REALLY HEAR WHAT HE SAYS.  I LIKE THE FEELING I GET IN KNOWING THAT ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BE QUIETER, COME CLOSER AND I WILL HEAR HIM LOUD AND CLEAR.  AND IRONICALLY, I LIKE THE FEELING I GET WHEN I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN, I DO WHAT I WANT, AND EVERYTHING GOES WRONG.  BECAUSE IS THEN, THAT I REALLY KNOW HE IS THERE.  BECAUSE IF I HAD JUST DONE WHAT GOD TELLS ME, EVERY THING WOULD HAVE BEEN OK... IS LIKE EVIDENCE THAT HE EXIST.  CRAZY HU?

 

MY REPLY VIA EMAIL

 

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME! In the bible it says...

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. Psalms 100:5

Jesus was on the road, making His final journey to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. This time He Himself would be the Passover Lamb, slain for the sins of the world. As He walked along with His disciples, a young man ran up to Him, knelt down in front of Him and asked, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10:17)

“Why do you call Me good?” Jesus asked. “No one is good except God alone” (Mark 10:18). His comment was not a denial of His deity, as some have suggested, but rather an opportunity for the rich young ruler to confess his faith in Christ’s divine person. That confession never came, indicating the man’s lack of spiritual understanding. But Christ’s statement tells us something about God that we need to consider if we ever hope to know Him intimately. God is good, and beyond that, He is the only one who can rightfully be called good.

Let me tell you thru personal experience .. GOD is good ALL the TIME! Amen! 

Even when Jesus tells us the DEVIl comes to STEAL , KILL AND DESTROY.(Make no mistake.. everything Jesus says is for good and not by chance).  in other words.... think of this.. Why arent there 100's of people every night trying to steal my red unlocked super smooth Ferrari every night that sits outside? Cause there is no car! lol I dont own one. So no one is trying to steal anything we dont have. BUT the adversary  comes to steal my joy daily, kill my dreams of success and tries to destroy my knowledge of salvation. I have something that he doesnt so he tries to rob me of it!  So that is a way is good news... that I have the light.. and the dark hates it. 

When you talk about the "suffering" ... two things come to mind. First is, that the sufferings of the world are not worthy enough to be compared or out shone to the GLORY of MY GOD. We are but here on this earth for seconds of existence. The other thing that comes to mind is that any and all suffering was put here by SIN. Not God!  We are to be conquerors  of the devil, world and the flesh, and we do this by faith in Jesus and what he did for us. We conquer death thru the blood of the lamb. We do NOT have to suffer, because Jesus has paid our ransom. Its up to us to have faith and believe. 

One thing you hit right on.... its is NOT for us to know all of that which God has planned. But we must have faith that the works of GOD are Good! All the time. For he is not a God who can lie... this is the one thing he can NOT DO. 

HEBREWS 6:18 `So God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us.

NUMBERS 23:19`God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?

Those who die and were never given the opportunity to know of God or Jesus..  they are like children.. unaware to the world, oblivious.. or what some call " under the age of accountability". The easy answer.. is Jesus came to save NOT condemn the world. and he died for ALL sins! Even those who do not know him, are sinful by nature and by birth. To get a better understanding with a bunch of fancy talk.. lol here is a link to a GREAT!! site and explanation. http://www.gotquestions.org/age-of-accountability.html . Do check this out. 

Lastly... as for the "looking" for love saga..lol.. well I guess you are right in a way. lol. I was looking for fullness.. yes. Having been abandoned at an early age left me feeling incomplete. When I found LOVE and all it could offer me.. great as it was, it was still not enough.. because.. I was looking for something only God could fill. See God wants us to see him, wants us to know him.. wants us to love him. So true is it, that when we have voids in our lives.. he crafts them so beautifully that they are only filled by him. Like he said to the Samaritan lady.. " those who drink from My well shall never thirst again" . Amen! 

I have been loved enormously.. and had I loved God then, I would have been able to appreciate and reciprocate it more, I would not have held a person responsible for filling the void in me that was only intended for God to fill. So I was in a constant state of thirst.

 I have now received his love and every day I unlock how vast it is.. the depths of it surpass  any romantic/parental love. And yes I was looking... we all are looking./.. cause he designed it that way. We all are missing something.. but we just cant quite put our finger on it.... When we dont know God.. we believe its other things like ... that new job, that friend, that relationship, that money, that car, that social busyness.. etc. But thats a lie... what we are feeling is the undeniable innate feeling that we were meant for something more.

C.S. Lewis

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world”

^{JOHN 15:19} If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

I have found the highest love in God for sure, and he always intended me to.. 

He is Jealous for us. 

Gods LOVE is the point.. His love for us is plainly explained .....

JOHN 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Wow.. I could go o n forever!! It really is great news!! God will finish the works he started in you .. just keep seeking him out. Remember...

Do not let your heart be troubled by the worries of THIS world.. for you were never intended for it. 

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LASTLY!!  :) 

I am going to take a new direction here with this blog .. seeing as how life is happening in fast forward these days...

 “And unless those days were shortened, no flesh

would be saved; but for the elect's sake those days will be shortened” 

Matthew 24:22

I have decided to blog short stories of how good god is. In other words my next few blogs to come will be short stories of how God has shown me the goodness of his mercy and grace. Stories of his words to me, and all experiences that WOW me of  GOD! Then Ill throw an update in there from time to time that give an in depth look.  I think this will help me in keeping up the blog. :)

As always thank you for reading along on this beautiful journey. 

May God bless you!

AGAPE!